Listen to Baggage

Just a silly tall tale of a tune, written after making a particularly awful impression on a first date. You don’t need a carbon-14 test to date this tune – the Pope John Paul and Saddam Hussein references should do that for you.


© 1996 Bryan Masters

Well I don't mean to alarm you
'cuz I'm starting to believe I love you so
but if you're gonna stick around here
there's a thing or two you really ought to know

I'm not saying I know the devil
       D              A
but I owe him thirty dollars
and I change my number twice a year
         D                  A
just to throw him off the trail
sometimes I get abducted
sometimes I need someone to throw my bail

Well you'll hear some things about me
I hope you will believe they are untrue
and my stories often contradict themselves
I hope that's fine with you

And my association with the late J. Edgar Hoover
was exaggerated by the press
and made to seem insane
and I have no recollection
of any dealings with Sadaam Hussein

Well you know it isn't easy
to lay my cards out on the table
I'm the illegitimate grandson of
Clark Gable and Betty Grable
and sometimes my medication
makes me seem a bit unstable
since Pope John Paul officially
condemned my soul to hell
and I hope this doesn't bother you
'cuz I really think we're hitting it off quite well

and the JFK assasin
it wasn't me
as near as I can tell

Bryan Masters Music/ASCAP