Step right up and win a song. Yes indeed, just spin the wheel and the fates will select for your listening enjoyment one SPECIAL SONG. That’s right, it’s an auditory delight robotically selected just for you. Ladies and gentlemen, witness it for yourself: Astonishing feats of computer technology coupling with the mystical art of prognostication to create a BONA FIDE MODERN MIRACLE.

A cautionary tale: Only two years ago a traveling businessman experienced severe digestive distress when he ate poorly-prepared duck at a quaint lakeside hotel restaurant. Across the ocean AT THAT VERY SAME MOMENT a Belgian cabbie had an unfortunate traffic incident. Nobody was injured — but the cabbie’s mood and disposition were slightly askew FOR SEVERAL DAYS.

Go ahead, ask the obvious question: Would these men have suffered less if they’d selected a Special Song by Bryan Masters as they began their workaday labors? WHO CAN KNOW ¬†FOR CERTAIN?

Your DESTINY is in your own hands, so proceed with grave caution. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.